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        kinderboo ad
        Dear People who don't think the rules apply to them,
        In English, the word we use is 'that', not 'dat'. You have a tongue and teeth; you are capable of pronouncing 'th'.
        Dear Zac Efron,
        Please throw a vat of acid on your face. You have single-handedly made every girlfriend in the world realize they are merely settling. You're playing a very dangerous game here. It's within your best interest to spread some ugly on your Ken doll mug.
        Dear group of huge boys standing in front of my locker,
        Um . . . excuse . . . I . . . I really need . . . I have to . . . um, I guess I don't really think I need that book anyway.
        Dear son,
        Are you wayward?
        Dear Dr. Phil,
        More kids are addicted to Facebook than marijuana.
        Dear 90's,
        Please donate some of your cartoons to us.
        Dear Walmart Shoppers,
        Please attempt to cover as much skin as possible before entering a public place. I just ate.
        Dear son,
        If you're old enough to drive and to get wasted, you're old enough to wash your own underwear.
        Dear stepdad who's a cop,
        There is no need to interrogate and give me a breathalyzer test every time I come home from a friend's house...
        Dear Females,
        Cramps are caused by your abdominal muscles becoming worn out. If you wish to avoid this pain, do more sit ups.
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