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        Dear lady at Wal-Mart,
        You do know there are changing rooms, right?
        Dear flashlights, alarm clocks and cameras,
        Sorry.
        Dear elbow,
        One of these days...
        Dear teachers,
        Please stop welcoming us back from break. It only makes it worse.
        Dear monsters under the bed,
        You can stop trying, nothing scares me anymore.
        Dear super jealous boyfriends,
        Believe it or not, we can actually have male friends without sleeping with them.
        Dear snow plow man,
        So how do you get to work in the morning?
        Dear cancer,
        My mom is too strong for you. Just leave already.
        Dear humans,
        Enjoy my lucky feet. Jerks.
        Dear boyfriend,
        Why is it that you can fart in front of me incessantly, but me burping once is the nastiest thing you've ever heard?
        Dear man taking the elevator down one level,
        There's a reason why you're overweight.
        Dear dad,
        There IS a difference between butt dialing and a booty call.
        Dear accident prone child,
        It all started when the condom broke...
        Dear girls,
        It's fine if you want to be perfect like Barbie, just remember she ended up with a plastic boyfriend who has no penis.
        Dear 2011,
        We thought you would have flying cars and robots by now, but congrats on the backwards robes and rubber bands shaped like animals...
        THIS IS PAGE 1
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